11 Reasons Why Dating After 50s Can Be Frustrating

As you age, dating can become more challenging. You’re tired of people who post pictures from ten pounds and ten-fifteen years ago and lie about their age. You’re sick of putting effort into writing thoughtful messages that get no response and first dates that drain the life out of you.

If you’ve ever experienced false starts and frustrations in online dating, you probably feel like online dating scenes sucks. There’s got be a better way to meet people. There are a few—going on meetups, or being friendly and starting conversations with everyone everywhere you go.

But, if you want to find lasting love and you’re over 50s, online dating is still your best option. You’re not socializing with singles on a regular basis. You don’t go to many parties. You don’t get set up often, and when you do, it’s usually just because the main thing you have in common is you’re both single.

People who date online, always do find love on every site every day. Of course, you need to take precautions and stay safe. And it’s not always easy to date online, so let’s discuss the disappointments you’re probably feeling.

#1. Games and Lies

I dislike the games, especially when people aren’t truthful. I’m not saying it’s just the men, women are guilty for it too. I even heard horror stories of many women interested in cougar dating but presenting themselves much younger and true love seeker in their profiles. What happened to respect and kindness?

#2. Feeling Judged by the Superficiality of Online Dating

The feeling of being judged, as in a “beauty” contest, because on any online dating site, there are so many pictures to scroll through. You are picked based on presentation of your profile picture, which says nothing about who you are on a substantive level (we all know men do not read profiles). 

#3. Confusion About How to Communicate Online

Not knowing if I should call/email or should I WAIT for his call/text? It’s confusing to me to what extent I should take initiative, and to what extent I should just wait…

Sending a thoughtful message and not getting any acknowledgement, even if it’s that they’re not interested.

#4. Lack of Manners and Common Courtesy

It’s frustrating to never hearing from a man again after a date, especially if you’ve made plans to meet again. As a result of this happening, if I know I’m not planning on meeting someone again, I am honest and send a message. I wish men could show same courtesy.

Also, when someone persistently contacts me and I have no interest in them, I send a kind email wishing him well. I stopped doing this because of ugly replies I received in return. Unfortunately, not everyone on these sites are mentally stable. Even when I try to display good manners, it’s not always kindly received.

I hate going on a first date with a man having poor manners. I do expect him to help me out of my coat, to be able to hold a sweet meaningful conversation, to pay for the date and open the door when we’re leaving. Also, don’t come in jeans or cargo pants or shorts with flip-flops if we’re meeting in a nice restaurant or at any other decent place.

#5. Breaking Up and Rejection

I really don’t like the whole process of dating. And going through the process of break- up when it becomes clear there is not long-term relationship potential takes a toll on your heart.

It’s as hard to be the rejecter just as much as it is to be rejected.

I dislike the beginning and ends, learning about someone new, only to have it crumble because one of you chooses to discontinue. It’s as hard to be the rejecter just as much as it is to be rejected. Meeting people out is a process that is necessary on the way to finding the one, but maintaining that optimistic attitude while you’re at it definitely takes self-monitoring and vigilance.

#6. False Expectations

I hate the uncomfortable feeling of the first meet. The nervousness, the unknown…I really hate the awkwardness if it isn’t a match and the disappointment that I don’t feel a connection. I used to look for that instant spark and chemistry, but it mostly happened with the wrong guys. Eight out of ten handsome men I met, were interested only in one night stands, and not in meaningful relationships.

#7. Too Time-Consuming

Whole Dating process is very time consuming, almost as a hobby or a job. It is hard, because involves a lot of rejection and also inflicting hurt on others, not intentionally, but as part of the process.

#8. Virtual Infatuation and Not Meeting in Real Life

I feel that nowadays men have a new addiction—online dating instead of video games. They seek the virtual infatuation instead of reality. So, they are just staying online hiding behind the computer screen and will fail to move to a real world.

I feel like there is a tendency to not want to be all in on the whole dating process. In the past, even with online dating, moving offline was much faster and smoother. Now, there is endless email chatting, the initial meeting might never occur, and when it does, no one wants to waste their time on a real date. Its coffee or drinks, not dinner. I feel like everyone (including myself) has become emotionally unavailable and unwilling to take the time to get to know each other.

#9. Sharing Horror Stories About Past Relationships and Not Healing From Past Pain

I don’t want to hear men’s horror stories about another woman. firstly, I am not her, and isn’t everyone innocent until proven guilty?

Women and many men have been very hurt, with egos bruised, from their past relationships. I feel that what holds them back and is hurting both them and the dating process, is that men do not do their inner work to heal themselves and move forward in positive, healthy ways. The number of female contacts they have in their mobile phones seems to be far more important to them and their egos, than that one special woman with whom he could create a lasting, committed relationship. And although they certainly want the physical sex, they do not want the emotional components that are required for a true relationship.

#10. Ghosting

What disappoints me the most is after you have taken a bit of time, and then he disappears. Please guys, just be honest and at least tell us why you’re leaving. After all We ALL have feelings, so be considerate.

#11. Getting Intimate Too Soon

I really feel uncomfortable when men try to kiss me on my mouth or hold my hand for a long period of time on the first date. I barely know him at that time, so I’m not ready for that.

Yes, over 50s dating can be frustrating. But it can also be a highly effective tool to help you find true lasting love. And it’s not just for finding that one special person, it’s also a great way to build network for business or develop wonderful friendships.